Digging Deep

Today was a difficult day.  The Human Garage was even busier than yesterday.  There were two extra tables set up and people were busy everywhere.   And yet I found myself feeling alone today.  I arrived about 15 minutes early, but Ryan was there waiting for me and he was ready to go. Starting this work from the feet to the head, today was the day with full attention focused on the torso.  After going through a series of simple moves (which I also did yesterday), Ryan asked me to start face up on the table.  He dug right into the top and sides of the pubic bone to release the muscles at the base of the torso.  Not too bad!  Then he worked on the internal and external obliques.  It didn't feel great, but I actually did feel a lengthening through the torso as he worked.

The diaphragm.  I expected discomfort, but what I didn't expect was the emotional flood.  Ryan asked me to take a deep breath and exhale. As I exhaled, deep went his fingers up under my ribs to work on the diaphragm in three different spots on each side.  Although uncomfortable, I could breathe through the discomfort.  But this work triggered such a deep emotional reaction I could not suppress it, and I truly couldn't have done so if I wanted to.  After all, isn't that part of the reason I'm doing this work?    The tears came - not sobbing tears, but I was unable to continue to talk.  I felt quite alone. I almost felt as if I were no longer in the room, but above the room observing.  I tried to take the advice Ryan had given me yesterday when the topic of the tissues holding on to past traumas came up.  He said to simply try to identify the emotion, and then just acknowledge it.  That worked for me.  It was a mixture of fear and sadness...I have my suspicions of the source, but I'm waiting for my body to tell me more.  From that point on through the rest of the session, I really couldn't speak and felt overwhelmed.

When Ryan finally asked me to sit up, take a few breaths, and when ready come out and walk the floor I wasn't sure I could.  My first few passes I felt as if I were stumbling drunk completely out of sync with my body.  Gradually as I continued I came back to the present.  I left this session knowing I was going to do nothing for the rest of the day, except walk directly to the location of the Infrared sauna and then just think.  There is a very good reason the recommendation is to spread out these sessions over several weeks.

After all that, the photos from today do tell the tale.  My hips are straighter, my feet are, my shoulders are, and my head ever so slightly more on the midline!  As I move through, I'll post the progress from day to day.  At the end of the week, I'll post first and last.  Onward!  Thank goodness I have a rest day tomorrow.



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